The most useless of all the recent career politicans and the ways they have failed in their attempts to worm their way to the top:
David Milliband – Has perpetually been ineffective in usurping Gordon Brown. At the Labour Conference 2008 he issued a number of unsubtle attacks on Gordon Brown only to fail in his attempts to spark a leadership contest. May yet succeed, though Harriet Harman, Ed Balls and Jack Straw may all have something to say about this.
Lembit Opik - Managed first to openly back Mark Oaten and then Simon Hughes in the Lib Dem Leadership contest of 2006. Both were embroiled in scandals about their sexuality and the overall winner turned out to be Menzies Campbell. His political career hasn’t really been the same since.
Michael Portillo - Managed to completely mess up his leadership ambitions in 1995. Instead of openly mounting a challenge to John Major and risk losing his position of Defence Secretary he dithered and eventually managed to lose his seat in Parliament in 1997. Has since regained some respect in his appearances on ‘This Week’ on the BBC alongside Diane Abbott and Andrew Neil.
Winston McKenzie – The former boxer, mentor and child motivator tried to court all parties for their mayoral nomination between 2006 and 2008. Eventually he stood as an independent finishing a good way behind the rest of the field. His rap and song alone will go down in history as one of the most amusing and probably worst campaigns ever conducted.
Robert Kilroy-Silk - The former Labour MP and chat show host stood for UKIP at the European elections in 2004 and was elected to the European Parliament. He then launched a campaign to become leader of UKIP, only to utterly fail. Upon this failure he launched another doomed venture in the form of Veritas, his own political party. Veritas failed to gain a single seat at the 2005 general election and Kilroy-Silk is currently sitting in Brussels as an independent MP